My Heart's Window

So here's words that I just felt like I had to put down - sometimes I wonder if anyone else goes through this too?  Hmmmm, I think this may be "one of those days" - tomorrow will be better.  Blessings!

Completed:)

So here it is - my new Garden Window in memory of both Helen and my Mom - how special it is - I am thrilled to know that when I look out this window, my thoughts will be with them!  Do you think they'll know I'm remembering them?  Oh I pray so!!! 

Tomorrow will be exactly three months since mom passed away - it doesn't seem that long at times, and other times, it feels like years!!!!  How I wish I could really sit with her at my kitchen table and she'd drink her cup of coffee with me - no sugar, but enough creamer to make it the right color:)  At McDonald's it was a "senior coffee with three creamers", but at my house we usually had to scrape the jar of dry creamer as I didn't use it much, or just some skim milk:)!!  The last time mom came to my home Litney brought Helen from Cheney - now each time I have coffee with mom, Helen will be here too - at least through my window. 

Funny how our minds can work, huh?  I mean I definitely know there's no way that either one of them are here, but at moments, I "feel" like it's possible?  Sometimes when I'm asleep I have a quick dream about mom and wake up only to realize she's gone - all in my memory for now.  Still so difficult to go through some days!  As I was talking with Jenice the other day we commented on how mom would still shed a tear when she talked about Grandma - I so understand!  I remember not wanting to mention Grandma as I knew it would make mom cry - but now that I'm in that position, I want to remember mom!  And yes, I'll cry - but don't you think those tears are good?  Oh - I miss talking with her!!!!

One more cup this morning - I LOVE my new window!!!  Blessings to both Helen and mom!!!  Blessings to all!

It's Coming:)

Today is the day my new kitchen garden window will be installed!!  I'm very excited and so anxious to actually be able to look out through the mementos I will place within it, but in the same sense, I know I will be very emotional.  It's not quite been three months for mom - still very fresh within my mind, thoughts and tears.  Most of the time now I can go through a day - but not always.  I mean she still is there in my thoughts, but I don't cry all the time - hard to explain!  I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday who's mother is 83 living in Spokane.  She told me that my poems had really inspired her to spend more time with her mom - that she felt everything I'd written and she knew her time was coming.  Made me feel good to hear that:)

We also got an offer on mom's home in Walla Walla yesterday.  Guess there is a younger woman who wants to move into the mobile home court to help in taking care of her mom or parents - not sure which.  She offered 10 thousand less than the asking price - we counter offered and came down 3 thousand - willing to split the difference I believe, but don't want to just give it away either.  That's going to be hard if the house sells today, the window is put in today and it's also the first anniversary of Litney & Danny.  Wow, so many memories all in one day!!!  This blog is going to be a "continuation" of what goes on today - will get back to it as I can. 

On the home, she would not budge above her counter offer - she's not the right one for the home:) but God does have the perfect person who will buy mom's place and we will wait for Him to direct that person our way!!  Mom would like that!!!

OK - so I now have a Garden Window in memory of Helen and my mom:)  It's not totally complete, but getting there!!!  The woodwork needs to be painted and a glass cut for the bottom, but by this time next week I'll be putting in memories!!!  I LOVE it and oh how I miss them!!!!

So for now, this is it - but I can just imagine sitting at the kitchen table drinking my cup of coffee with each of them!!!  Blessings and loves to them!!!

Where is "Home"

The other day I was chatting with Judy and we were both having a tough day - seems like those are easier to come by these months!  Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever be better?  Anyway during the conversation she was sharing with me her feelings on "home" and that now it's different for her.  I totally understood - you see she was the only sibling that did not actually live in Walla Walla, nor does she have a lot of memories from Walla Walla.  The rest of us actually graduated from school there, lived there even for a short period of time and have many memories there.  Glen & Jenice had moved away, but returned - Jaci never left and for me and Greg, we've moved but still have those memories from younger years. 

Yesterday afternoon Jim took Logan, Litney & Danny out on the boat for awhile - I stayed home first because I don't like boating, but also to do laundry for the kids - which I don't mind at all:)  Then I decided to write something to help express Judy's thoughts and feelings.  I sent it to her, but thought I could easily post it here - these postings are for so few that read it'll be okay.  Judy called - I know she appreciated it and she said it did say exactly how she is feeling. 

Even though Walla Walla is still kinda a "home" for me, I'm glad to know mom and dad are both in their eternal "home" and that one day I will greet them again.  Thank you Jesus for all your blessings to me!