A Birthday to Remember

There's been lots of birthdays in December - 5 of the 8 members of my immediate family were in December and each has special meaning.  But today, is very special!  This would have been my dad's 95th birthday - that just doesn't seem possible at all!  He's been gone now since 2006 and this is 2012 - wow!  Not a day goes by without me thinking of him at some point - I still miss him!

Everyone in my family is home and I love it!  We went down to Walla Walla just yesterday for the day - a loooong day as we traveled both ways in one day, but an absolutely wonderful day:)  We not only had our Christmas dinner and such, but we watched some old DVD's from when the kids were little - seemed like yesterday for sure!!!  Mom and Dad were both in them and giving their little comments and smiles and laughs - it was a highlight of the day!!!  There was so much "chat and talk" that we couldn't tell if it was the DVD or in real person - I shed several tears but tried my best to just enjoy the time - so special!!!!

Today then was a lazy day at home - so enjoy my girls, Logan & Danny.  Our home is now set up so convenient for all - I LOVE having them here!!!  We brought out the home movies on DVD from our family - more tearful times.  I wondering the older I get if I'm just going to be crying more and more?  That's how I'm feeling about life - everything brings tears!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we'll all be going to church - love that part of the holiday!  Christmas morning will come and along with cinnamon rolls will be the presents and more "together" time - am loving it!  They are here so seldom anymore that I just want to soak it all up!!  Time slips so quickly and then they'll be gone:( and I'll miss them terribly!  Love them all!

Must go - I know, I know, my blogspot isn't very consistent is it?  Hmmmm, will I ever be better? I don't know - time will tell.  Loves to all who read and know that I love each of you very much:)!!!  blessings! 

The Final "Last"

OK - so it happened just yesterday.  When Jaci and Dwight came home from Seattle on the 2nd of September they had a telephone message that mom's house had sold depending on our response.  Of course, we all quickly said, "take it!" to the bid that was given.  It was going to be sold!  It was going to be no longer mom's home!  It was the final "last"!!

At the beginning I thought "great, it's time it goes!" but like some of the other siblings, it's still very difficult to know there is not a connection any longer.  Maybe it's because as long as 176 Rancho Villa belonged to mom, we still had a small part of her?  I don't know the answer - I just know that although my heart says "mom wanted it sold and sold on her birthday" that there is a part of me still wanting to hang on.  Stupid, I realize, but still real:)

Yesterday Jaci went to the title company and signed it off - all the siblings are mailing in their notarized papers giving our rights away also - such a bittersweet time!  I googled just yesterday the multiple listing in the Walla Walla Realtors Association - there it was, photos of her place.  I have some of those same photos - I took many as I walked out the door the last time.  I remember tears swelling within my eyes to a point I couldn't even see the camera screen, but I wanted those photos!  But when I saw them "online" for everyone to see, it just choked me up again.  There on the one wall by her front door the six little painted photos were hanging in the shape of a cross - I cried!  In the kitchen was a box of kleenex by the telephone counter and her plant above the kitchen sink - I cried!  In the bedroom area was the mirror across from the sink where she'd always placed little momentos that meant something to her - I cried!  The garage door from the outside area was in one photo and I just couldn't help but remember how excited both mom and dad were to build that garage and park a new vehicle in it - I cried!  So can you tell it was a tearful time for me?!!!!  Now, Jaci signs the papers and today the new owners sign their part.  It is gone - and although I'm happy about it - I cry!

The very final "last" is the key to her home that I cannot give up!  It has a little smidgen of fingernail polish still on it from when mom put it there - not much as it's been on my keyring for over a year and it's wearing off - but I have the key.  There's no way that it'll ever be used at 176 Rancho Villa in Walla Walla, Washington but I can imagine it'll be on my keys for a long time - in fact, maybe my girls one day will say, "Hmmmmm, wonder what this went to?" 

 

Blessings mom!!!!  I'll love you forever:)!!!!

A New Time!!! A New Beginning!

 

 

So here it is the first day of a new school year - the first day since 1989 that I don't have a child going to school. It's a little sad for me, but it's also a beginning of a new stage of life and I'm liking it!  So many things in just the last few days to say, "it's time to move on - and it's time for a new beginning!"  Although life will always be different and from here on out it's going to fly by, I feel so good about how God has provided and sustained us in His hands! 

 

Sunday the 2nd of September was mom's 93rd birthday and although she's not with us, my thoughts and love were hers that day!  Well, I guess you can say that there's not a day that goes by that my thoughts at some point don't go to mom or dad - I'm thinking that is normal - my goodness, I am my mother's daughter right?  I am my father's daughter?!!!  I'll attach the thoughts I wrote that day for mom -

 

 





I posted this on facebook - it's kind of the "new thing" in this generation of time - I so wish that years ago when I was writing there was a "place" where I could have posted and saved everything I wrote - in this computer era, it's so much easier:)  Anyway, my thoughts and love were with mom on her birthday!!!!

We didn't know it until yesterday, but on my mom's birthday there was a message on Jaci's phone from Brenda the realtor that a retiring couple had put earnest money down on mom's house!  So, I think mom had something to do with that!  I can just imagine that she was saying, "OK now Lord, it's time that the house sells and the kids can move on!  I don't want them having to keep that place up anymore, and I don't want them thinking about it all the time!"  Can't you just hear her talking?  Maybe that was her birthday gift to us on her special day? 

We were all in agreement and took the offer - hindsight is always better, and we should have taken that very first offer 15 months ago, but we can't go back:)  This is the right time and mom thought so too:)  At least, that's what I believe!!!  So on the 14th of September the papers will be signed and no longer will 176 Rancho Villa be an address in the family.  I'm so glad I took the rock and I have a visual of it everyday - makes me feel just a little closer and I love it!

I know what my next blog will be - have it within my mind right now - I love how God gives me thoughts and words - makes it so much better with feelings and such:)  So yes, today is a new beginning and a new time!  May God keep mom and dad in His hands and in time, we'll all be there too:)  Blessings to them and to all of us during this transition time of life! 

Who Would Have Known?

Today was a very typical Sunday morning:)  Got to sleep in just a little longer than normal as church doesn't begin until 10:30.  I got a text from Maribeth, one of my most recent best friends in town, that she was going to join me in church this morning, but she would drive herself.  Anyway, she had wanted me to "watch" for her - like in St. John no one would know "who" she was?  I told her I'd be the one with a "smile and open arms" - it was good to have her come!!!  We stood out front for a short time before going to sit down in the new chairs - love chairs rather than the old pews.

The service started out great!  Actually the entire morning was great, and church in our new sanctuary is very special for sure!  It was after the first song that we always "cross the aisles" and speak to others - I love this part of the Sunday morning - it is only a couple of minutes, but gives us a chance to just shake hands, give a hug, a squeeze on a little one's shoulder, a glance to someone.  It was at the end of this time - I was chatting with a fairly new person in church about a prospective job she was hoping to get, and the song started!  "There's within my heart a melody, Jesus whispers sweet and low" - going on to say, "fear not I am with thee, peace be still,  in all of life's web and woe."  At this point, I had headed back to my sit - and the chorus was being sung!  "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Sweetest Name I know.  Fills my every longing, keep me singing as I go!"  So there it was, the very song that I remember mom singing all the time!  Instantly, I could feel that little tear swelling up within my eye - but unlike my normal routine, I'd worn mascara today and didn't want to actually cry!  But that's all it took - that song being sung by the congregation to remind me.  However, this time I felt that "comfort" of the song - although I had emotions, I was able to vividly remember mom standing over the sink out in the home off Wallula road - the one where there was no window above the sink - I could visualize her singing and I could hear her singing:)! 

I leaned over to Maribeth and quietly commented, "this was my mom's favorite song" - Maribeth lost her mom about the same time or just months before mom.  We've been able to "share" lots of things and this was one of those times - she just gave me a reassuring little smile and we sang on.  So today Mom, you were there with me for sure!!!  There won't be a time I hear those words and not remember you singing them - it's such an old time hymnal kind of song and generally speaking we don't sing them much - today was meant to be and those words were comforting!  Thanks for sharing this Sunday with me:)  Blessings to mom today and always!  I love you:)!!!

Is it Time? - August 18th

Ok:)  So I just got off the phone with my oldest sister - after quite the conversation about a variety of things, she comments, "By the way, why haven't you posted anything on your blogspot?"  Hmmmmm, my response is "guess I've been busy?!"  However, that is no excuse ever for anything that means something to you!  And keeping up on my blogspot does bring comfort for those "two" that read it!!!!  So, after googling on "how in the world to get in to my site and create a new one" - here it is:)

Yes, Father's Day came and went and now this week is the 6th year of dad's passing.  I've written something that I will post at the end of this - was in tears yesterday afternoon and the words just kept haunting my mind until I wrote them down.  I'll be posting on the 21st of August on facebook and tag my siblings - we all will feel the very same way - Glen isn't a facebooker so can't tag him.  Not sure but maybe I have "three" followers on this site?  Anyway, wrote it for all of us as we all know it by heart - heard it all the time!!!  Always got a little chuckle out of it, and I guess now, I can still smile and laugh inside.  Not the same on the outside, 'cuz I miss him and mom a lot - but I can hear him tell me, "Janet, that's a good one!"  Often times he would actually print out some of my poems and read to his Sam's Group at church.  I never did tell him just how special that made me feel - guess I should have, huh?  Dad was a writer too - so between him and Aunt Mildred who I didn't really get to know, maybe it comes naturally to me.  I do know this, I feel like at times there is nothing more that I can do but write the words down.  Sometimes I wonder, "Who in the world will go through these thousands of writings I have?"  Hmmmm, maybe one of my kids someday - who knows?

Life is busy and I'm loving it!!!  Larissa moved to Philadelphia - actually to St. David's and is the Coordinator of Student Activities/RD and is loving it!  Our road trip from Texas to Pennsylvania was a lifetime of memories to treasure!  We laughed, we ate, we slept, we took photos, we cried - perfect in every way!  Litney got her first teaching job in Renton and is in the process now of getting her classroom organized and ready for 31 5th grade students - that will be a challenge for a first year teacher but I know she'll do great!  I miss she and Danny living in Spokane and popping in on us - hmmmm, don't think they'll ever live on this side of the state again:( !!!  Logan is in the middle of harvest driving combine - he's doing great but exhausted after two weeks - anyone should be!  And he's still dating his girlfriend - at least she helps motivate him so I like that!  This is Jim's slower time at the office with the farmers but my photography is in full swing!  I've had shoots about 5 or 6 times a week - without breaks for like 10 days - BUT, I'm doing what I love!!!  Again, both dad and mom would have been thrilled for me.  Funny how even when you're with a "spouse" and as old as I am that you still love thinking that your parents would be proud?! 

OK - so I'm going to try my best not to let this much time pass in my writing - here's my words for Dad - remember dad, I love you so much and miss you!!! 

Blessings to my Dad!!!  Blessings to all:)!

Father's Day is Coming!!!

Here it is, the Wednesday before Father's Day on Sunday - why is it that these special days come so often any more?  I don't remember it like this when I was still living at home and being a kid - but now that I am older and a parent myself AND especially since my kids are getting older too, they just seem to get here faster and faster!  Doesn't seem at all possibly that my own dad has been gone almost six years now - oh how life is, huh?!  Hmmmmm, wish we could go back sometimes, but then again, I know that's not possible!

It's been a busy time this winter & spring - our home is now complete with new construction, Logan has graduated from high school (that's still a miracle!), Litney graduates from EWU this weekend and Larissa is moving from Howard Payne University to Eastern University in Philladelphia!  So many changes for sure and yet part of me wishes this was 20 years ago so I could share it all with both dad and mom:(  hard to know they'll not see where life takes me nor my kids!

Litney and Danny will be moving to the Seattle area in July - wow, am I ever going to miss having them close!  Now as it is, we see them about twice a month or so, but once they're living in Seattle it'll be like Larissa - probably just a few times a year.  Litney is so anxious to be teaching - having her own classroom and beginning her life!!!  Her letters of recommendation from her principal and the teacher she is under are exceptional - saying she has the ideas and questions for students that even seasoned teachers don't have.  I'm sure God will place her in just the school He wants her teaching in - I just know I'll be missing them!!!  However it is comforting knowing she has Danny and they are extremely happy together - what more could a mom want for her daughter!!!

Logan also has his first real girlfriend right now:)  She's younger but has many of the same interests as Logan and it's good to see him happy too.  Am not sure where this relationship will go, but for now Logan is much more content being "home" and not moving away.  I wasn't real sure he could make it on his own anyhow, so for now, this is good:)

I'm making the road trip with Larissa from Brownwood to Philly - we're actually going a little jog in the journey so she can spend an evening with a "friend" of hers - 6 years in the making and they've finally communicated to each other that there is an attraction?  So, we'll see what that brings!!!  Larissa is so content knowing that God has the perfect husband for her somewhere - just doesn't know where yet - but He will let her know:)  Am excited for her journey in life and see where she'll be.  For now, it's at least closer to an airport of which I'm thankful -

So I guess I'd love to share all this news with dad and mom - they'd enjoy hearing it and knowing that they didn't have to go through it with us!!!!  Amazing that families can grow so fast and time goes so quickly at different stages of life.  For now, I like the stage I'm in - I'd like it to slow down just a bit and allow me time to enjoy these special moments.  However, I know that won't be - mom use to say, "the older I get the faster the time goes" and I know that to be true too!!!  So for you dad, I'll be thinking of you on Sunday as I do most days - so wish I could give you that "dollar" once again!!!  Blessings dad!  Blessings mom!  Blessings All!!!



Was reading on Facebook this morning a letter from a mother to her daughter and it showed a photo of the two together - head to head - leaning together.  It shared all the struggles of growing old and told the daughter to be understanding as the mom's mind and body left her.  Within moments of my reading this tearful letter, I received an email from Larissa - it had the same letter attached to it!  I cried again!!!  Not only did my mind relive those last days of moms, it jumped forward to not that many years ahead and realized my daughters, my son will go through the very same thing!  It may have different circumstances, but the end results are the same ~  I'll be gone.  Just makes me realize more and more that life is fragile and we need to share our love with our family, our friends, our community - share it with strangers!  God's gift to us is this love and He gave it for us to give again and again!!!  Anyway, after reading the letter twice - and crying each time, these are words given to me.  Still not a day goes by that mom isn't a part of my day!  I love you mom!  I love my kids too!!!!

Blessings to all!!!