5 Years - Hands of a Lifetime

So I went back in my old external hard drives and found the poem I'd written 5 years ago - doesn't seem that long ago, but it is.  I have it printed on my fireplace mantle, but each time I read it I just cry - brings back so many memories, tears and all!  Anyway, thought I would post it here too -

I have a photo shoot this morning with a family - it'll be a hard shoot as the father who is like 65 is dying and only has months to live.  His kids are here with grandkids and they want a "family photo" - will this be the last family photo they have?  Probably and I'm not sure this is the day I can "hold it together" either!  I've been in tears most of the morning already!

So many memories - oh, I loved him!  Blessings Dad!!!

The Last Box

So this was a morning it was hard to sleep in.  I remember it like it was yesterday, but five years ago on this very morning I got the call about dad.  Although I'd left Walla Walla just hours before he passed away, it was very hard to know his time had come.  I remember questioning if I would drive back to Walla Walla or not - it wasn't that I didn't want to be there, but I'd been on the road a lot in the last two weeks coming and going and my body was exhausted!  You see, we also took turns staying up all night with him while he was in his last days.  It was emotionally draining but also physically draining - we wouldn't have done it any differently though.  We wanted to be with him!

So Jenice called me like at 4:30 that morning - as soon as the phone rang, we knew!  Jim got it first and then I took the receiver - the call I dreaded!  I couldn't just jump in the car and head back - although I couldn't sleep anymore either.  I waited a few hours and then drove myself back to Walla Walla - to the home where mom and dad lived.  I'll never forget walking in - not knowing what to do, where to go, what to say!  It was sooooo hard!  I cried!  I cried and cried more!  Then I guess everyone else had kinda gotten over the crying and then to see me, they all started in again.  I gave mom a hug - it was going to be hard on her - we all knew!  I do remember going into dad's bathroom and before I came out, I had one of the gold dollars of his in my hand - I said, "I'm going to take this!"  I wanted it because dad's hands had been on it - silly isn't it, but that was the way I was feeling.  If dad had touched it, then if I had it, it would mean something more to me.  Oh, the emotions that ran that day!!!!

Five years have passed - an eternity in some ways, a quick second in others!  Now it's been almost 4 months since mom passed away - the day she joined dad and was reunited with him - joyous for her, heartbreak for us!  When I was down to Walla Walla on March 18th of this year with Litney mom gave me Jim's birthday gift:)  She was always so "ahead of time" in everything she did!  She would laugh about it at times and say things like, "well, I might not be here and want to make sure he gets it" - never would I have been imagined on that Friday it would be the last box I'd get from her.  You see, Jim's birthday is the day dad passed away.  I remember placing that box on the top of my tall dresser in the bedroom - it was the same place I put each birthday gift mom gave me early -

Today I will give that gift - the very same gift mom has given Jim for 27 years - a shirt within that box and then I'm wondering - "should I just put that last box back on my dresser?"  It would be empty, but also filled with so much love & memories.  Can I just throw it away?  No, I don't think I can - so for now it will sit on my dresser, collect some dust along the way and again be another reminder of how much mom loved her kids!  Sad to know though that it is the Last Box!

Blessings to Jim on this day, to Dad for 5 years and to Mom!!

Time Slips Away

So here it is - August 8th, 2011 and two thirds of the summer has passed!  It just doesn't seem possible at all:) but then again, life just seems to happen, doesn't it?  It's been a fairly good summer - still lots of emotions and times of tears, but some really good things too! 

Logan is working for Erik Logen each day at 7:00 AM - AM - did you read that correctly?  AM!!!!  Wow, what a feat that is to just get him out of bed:)  - am glad I have an "early rising husband" as I'd never be able to do that regularly.  My hours each day keep me up at night and then I actually love to sleep in a little:)  Jim is good - he gets Logan out of bed and out of the house - to a JOB!!!!

Litney and Danny have come down several times and shared some of their time with us:)  It's always a nice thing to have them for sure!!!  And last month Logan got to stay with them in Spokane while Jim and I were shooting a wedding on the coast - Logan adores Danny as much as he does Litney.  I like the relationship between them - very healthy for Logan too - just laid back and fun times when he's with them:)  Logan actually starting this "pipe smoking" this summer - guess it's not as bad as it could be, and he and Danny enjoy it together.  Am sooooo happy for Litney - she definitely found the "man of her dreams" and the two of them together are adorable.  What more could a mother ask for, right?  They are good for each other for sure!!!!

Jim and I have shot three weddings and one more to go next week - I've been blessed with a very patient husband when it comes to partnering with me to do my photography:) - he just does exactly what I say to do and doesn't complain.  He actually loves to chit chat with all the people so after his portion of the wedding is over - he just talks:)  Of course, there's always a little food involved too - he likes that part!!!  Then it takes two days for us to "recup" after being on our feet so much - am wondering just how many more years I'll be able to still do what I do - BUT I LOVE IT!!!!  Never thought I'd be a "photographer", but have found my niche again - God's blessed me with so many different avenues in my life at different times in my life - this is one of my favorites - that is, besides being a "mom"!!!

Larissa comes home next month and we're heading to Montana for Kayla's wedding:)  Am so super excited to see Larissa - it's been since March - she opted for Hawaii instead of Washington for her summer vacation - imagine that, huh?  Really, it's okay - am very proud of her and if she chooses to vacation with friends, I think it's wonderful!!!!  This is the time in her life when she can, so my thought is, "Go for it!!!!"  Am glad to have her when she can come and if it's not often enough, we'll just head down her way!!!  We are going and taking Logan in October and then she's actually staying for two full weeks at Christmas - am very excited for that too!!!  Larissa is loving her life - her work, her friends, her church, her life!!!  I'm very blessed too to have wonderful kids!!!!

So, I'm posting another photo - when we brought everything home from my mom's and dad's this was one item that I got - I knew it would look good on my back porch, and I don't think really that anyone else wanted it - so just yesterday Jim hung it for me:)  Yes, it's been sitting across the chair for almost two months - it always takes him a little "time" to "get to it" - but it happened.  I have so many wonderful memories of both mom and dad - it seems like everywhere around my home now there's a portion of them - dad made this - it's a very special coat rack to me!!!  Time may slip away, but memories last forever!!!  Hmmm, may have to write about that next time!!!

Blessings to all!!!