So in about an hour I'm leaving for Walla Walla once again - making that drive but without the same purpose - this will be the first trip back where I won't be seeing my mom. Well, I'll be at her home, but I know it won't be her "home" anymore. All the furniture has been donated to the Odd Fellow Home - something she would be rejoicing about for sure:)!! All the food items have been given away to those in need too - another rejoicing moment for my mom. She's kept giving even after her final days - she was definitely a "giver"!! One of the things that has been in my mind this past month is "when we are gone, all we have left is what we've given!" I know I will be writing a poem with that thought, but just haven't yet - but it inspires me!!
It is our plan to pack up mom's personal items into boxes. It's been harder and harder for those living in Walla Walla - the emotional strain has got to be draining them knowing "its" all there! They are ready to have this part of their lives finalized - getting everything into boxes will help that process! On June 12th we're planning a small family memorial service for mom and then "celebrating" her new life with dad in heaven! In fact, we're doing what mom would have loved - a catered meal in her honor!! It's going to be tearful and emotional I'm sure! In fact, there's many moments that I'm fine and within a twinkling of an eye, I'm in tears - doesn't take much!!! I'm sure when I take that right turn into the mobile home court and then again taking that left and even seeing her home, tears will be flowing! Then to walk up that rap that I was so afraid of her falling each time she "threw her leg & foot" over the edge, opening that screen door and the sound of the "gaboosh" of the wooden door's suction, I'm sure I'll lose it! But it has to happen! My mind will be racing as I first visually see the room - the chair where mom crocheted no longer there, her finger nail file & scissors on the stand, her ottoman where she placed her feet, the stacks of yarn behind her chair to the right, the candy dish with horehounds no longer available, her cookie jar once filled with homemade cookies now filled with purchased ones. Wow, it's going to be hard!!!
Life will continue I know - but it will never be the same!!! I don't care how old a child, a girl, a woman is - your mother is always going to be there for you! At least, that's what's in your mind!!! Now I know that I've been wrong all these years - life even took my mom and one day, the same thing will happen for my kids! Again, my thought is "all we have left, is what we give!" I will be writing more on that! Now I have to get ready to make that drive. Blessings to my mom and to all!
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